Monday, May 2, 2011

The Goal-less Cotter

Oh boy oh boy. Here I go. My name is Lindsay and I don’t make Goals. SAY WHAT?!

Let me back that up…….You see, a few weeks ago, a blog buddy of mine (Petra) and I were exchanging emails about her BOSTON recap. I was getting all the details and congratulating her on an AWESOME race. At the end of our email exchange, she suggested I write a post about my personal goals. I told her I don’t do goals. They make me anxious. She was intrigued and wanted to know more. So here I am, explaining myself. Told you I was COMPLEX! haha.

DSCF0238
I am going to be straight forward here and the best way to do this for me is by bullet point.
 I mean, that’s pretty direct, right? Winking smile
  • I don’t make goals because they usually have a deadline or an end point and that makes me anxious. I don’t work well under pressure.
  • I don’t make goals because I get too caught up in achieving those goals and therefore lose sight of living and embracing the present.
  • I don’t make goals because I our current living situation and careers change so much each day that I need “wiggle” room just to get by. In order to find balance, I must be a flexible wife.
  • I don’t make goals because the hubs already has GOALS and I want to be the support crew for those GOALS.
Do I sound lame? I promise I have a purpose! I may not have GOALS but I do strive for GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES, for daily CHALLENGES, for FOCUS!

To me, these are things that I can apply daily. They make me feel less anxious. They are things that I can STRIVE for each day. Again, here come the bullet points.
  • Today I want to GROW as a wife. Learning to love and support my husband each day. Focusing on the small things that can uplift him DAILY.
  • DSCF0271
  • Today I want to CHALLENGE myself to be a better steward of our money. Holly mentioned she was going to start a grocery budget and I am totally on board!
  • Today I want to FOCUS on listening to my body. What does it need more or less of? More rest, less stress, plenty of nourishment.
  • Today I want to CHALLENGE myself to look past a training plan. To me that means letting my passion dictate my runs. And right now, that passion has me outdoors hitting the TRAILS. A passionate runner is a successful runner, right?
    DSCF0516IMG00404-20110312-1602
  • Today I want GROW in my walk with GOD. Praying that HE may guide our path and that I may have the eyes to see and the ears to listen to Him. Because ultimately, it all comes down this …..
    IMG00396-20110225-1213[1]
Now I do realize that GOALS are GOOD for most people. In fact, I highly recommend making them! But this is just works best for me, for my COMPLEX thinking, for my PRESENT being.

Do you do well with setting goals?

Cheers,
LC

137 comments:

Brittany said...

I'm pretty bad at goals. As far as weight and exercise goals, i always reach to big and do not reach them, then i get REALLLLLY upset and disappointed in myself. So i need to work on making lots of small goals, that are more attainable to reach! So try make little small goals first :)

Foodiefresh said...

I completely get this! It's not that I don't make goals, but I totally understand the losing sight of everything else because you're trying to achieve your goal. My type A tendencies create a monster sometimes.

Dorry said...

I love this Linds! It's beautifully written and insightful. You know I've been emerged into a culture of goals with lululemon. I've embraced it, but the verdict is still out as to whether or not this type of goal setting is "right" for me. I love your approach. It's kind and forgiving. :)

marathonmaiden said...

i love goals. so much in life is intangible and it's refreshing to me to have something specific to work towards. of course there is the fine line of when too much goal setting is happening and getting in the way of LIFE but goals help me keep going.

Rebecca Lustig said...

"a passionate runner is a successful runner" -- this means SO much to me right now. Thank you.

Also, I'm not good at setting goals either-- they cause a lot of avoidance and anxiety for me!

Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) said...

I am so with you on all of this! I do do resolutions or goals. I gave up a lot to help Tony out and he is finally doing his thing. I am slowly trying to get my stuff going too. I think it's working for me, but I have to take baby steps. I get information overload between Tony's work, the kids, the bills, the house...you get the point. I'm working towards things, but I can't let my family down right just to focus on my stuff. You are such a smart and loving person! Your husband is so lucky to have you!

Missy said...

I like this...a lot! Who needs goals when you have purpose and love and GOD!

PS- Happy birthday Hubby! I NEVER celebrate my birthday. I hide from it...as much as people will let me.
It's just no big deal to me.

Hollie@lolzthatswimandrun said...

I used to set blogging goals but I never follow through so I have since given up ha. I set goals and make to do lists a lot all over my planner for school and workouts but not so much blogging anymore.

Tracy Simmons said...

Great post! I think a lot of people feel this way about goals. I think the thing most people forget is that goals are not carved in stone, they are meant to bend and move as you life and needs change.

Holly said...

Lindsay you are awesome!!! I love that you are focusing on uplifting your husband -- that is something that I work on but I know I can do better at. He is the most important person to me and I need to be there for him, just like he is there for me. And I love that you're in with the grocery challenge!

Matt said...

Goals keep me going ;)

Allie said...

I like your complexity and that you aren't afraid of who you are and that you know what works for you.
You are so supportive of your husband! LOVE IT!

She Rocks Fitness said...

I 100% agree with you on this one! Setting goals are restricting and can be stressful, when honestly they shouldn't be. I also 100% agree about running and that when you run because you love it, enjoy it, and crave it, you are the most happy and successful on those runs. Weird the way the mind can work! Loved your honesty!

lindsay cotter said...

we're alike in so many way rebecca.
:)
 
Lindsay




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Jill said...

I LOVE goal setting. Actually I took multiple classes about goal setting theory in my master course work so I am really into the relationship between goals and motivation. I am a NERD :-)

Katie~ Run for the Bikini! said...

I think it totally depends on your personality, I NEED to make goals or else I don't get the things I need to get done. . . well done. lol I didn't make goals in the past and I think since making them I've achieved more and know more about what I want to do and how to get there.

Butttt I don't really follow training plans, I decide what I want to do day by day with a loose idea of the workouts I need to get in. It's worked pretty well so far. I do question myself on it sometimes though, like "Can I run a good race if I haven't followed an expert made training plan?" And then I answer "Yes , I have faith in what my body tells me what to do." :D

lindsay cotter said...

I think you've got a perfect balance going on here. I could learn from you.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

I think you just nailed it! It is forgiving. And thats right where I need to
be....for now. Thank you for always puttng my thoughts into words.

:)
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

exactly! We make goals along with trying multitask our life and it gets to be
too much, well to much for type A's. haha.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

i think its a fine line to reach, ya know. We sometimes set too high of
expectations...of ourselves and other people. I feel like right now, its all
about meeting in the middle. Ya know? Hope all is well back in LA!
 
Lindsay



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Shannon said...

I'm horrible with goals. I set them, then forget about them or don't achieve them, then beat myself up about it.

lindsay cotter said...

thank you allie. That means so much!
 
Lindsay



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Kate said...

I love this. I have a hard time completing goals and feel disappointed in myself when I don't. I love your growth opportunities and your perspective. Little by little we grow.

lindsay cotter said...

and you are good at achieving them! I think men are better at that, haha. Hope
you are safe in AL.
 
Lindsay
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lindsay cotter said...

Holly, I am so glad we have similar "goals." haha. Its nice to know that we can
support each other as well in these things. Thank you for the encouragement!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

amen to that! Life is full of curveballs, we need to know how handle them.
;)
 
Lindsay



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Salah said...

I am the exact opposite, if I don't have goals I feel anxious, like I don't have any sort of path or anything. I totally see where you are coming from, because there are times when I get so caught up in trying to achieve my goals I lose sight of all the amazing things going on in the present. I love your complexity and the openness you have on your blog about it! Helps me learn and grow as a person and a believer to read about others experiences and situations!

Pure2raw twins said...

awesome post!! girl you always get me thinking about my life, my goals. I love it. I actually do better under pressure, haha I am a huge procrastinator, so I guess I better be.

lindsay cotter said...

girl you confidence is what makes you awesome! Goals are a way of productivity
for you and thats amazing! I admire that.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

thats awesome! I would love to take a class on that, i just might not apply it.
haha.
 
Lindsay



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Meghan Smith said...

I am much too anxious to have goals as well. I like your motto of living in and embracing the present. Your posts always make me feel so good, like I am doing the right things! Thanks Lindsay :-)

lindsay cotter said...

yes yes, and when we make progress, even if it a little bit, we can feel good
about ourselves!! Keep growing!
 
Lindsay Cotter
Nutrition Manager & Fitness Consultant
lyndzut@sbcglobal.net   
www.cottercrunch.com




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Trisha said...

I love that you do what is right for you - that is what is most important. And I think you are fabulous :) Thanks for always being true to yourself!

lindsay cotter said...

if you feel good and confident about where you are, then you should feel good.
right? and I have a feeling you are right there in the present Meghan!
 
Lindsay



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Penny said...

I think it would be very hard to make things come together most of the time if both people were setting strict goals. I can see you know that already and don't set yourself up for stress and failure. I admire that about you and I also admire that you want to support your husband in his goals. He is blessed to have you. I can tell you don't need goals to succeed. You exercise regularly, make wholesome food, manage your home and I'm sure countless other things, and all without goals. I say, if it's not broken, don't fix it.

lindsay cotter said...

you are like my husband. I think thats why we compliment each other. Is your
sister the same way?

 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

and I love how you are so driven and have a great passion for goal setting! we
need that in our lives. We need Salahs! Speaking of, coffee date or run soon?
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

and thats why we relate so much! LOVE THAT! wish we could enjoy those runs
together.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

amen to that! DAY by DAY focus. Right? 

p.s.
I hide my bday too. Or at least get someone to buy me a kombucha, haha.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

ahh, you nailed my exact thoughts. OVERLOAD. Baby steps are needed just to keep
breathing and keep focus. Our time to set goals will come. Tony and the boys are
so lucky to have YOU!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

oh i like that phrase. If ain't broken, why fix it. I think it is a balance act,
and some goals setting might tip it....at least for now. Thanks for such
encouraging words penny.
 
Lindsay



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Suzanne said...

I'm glad I stopped by today! I don't do goals either and I'm kinda glad to hear someone else say it. You articulate it beautifully. Goals stress me out too because I usually don't look at them much after I've made them. I like a more relaxed approach unless there is a deadline - like my CPT exam! I AM a little stressed about that but I'm supposed to be ;)

BalancingPenny said...

You know, I never was one to set goals until I was getting serious about my blog, graduating school and starting a career I loved. But I found I have to break everything down into VERY manageable goals and then Find a way to make those goals even smaller into daily goals. I probably avoided it for so long because it is a lot of work and stressful in itself, but when I get to check them of my Wunderlist I do a little dance.

To answer your question from my last post, I am good toiling away at work and school. The end of the school year is the toughest, everyones done and looking forward to summer vacation. Thanks for asking and thanks for being a consistent poster.

Kristina said...

you may not like goals, but you are one of the most focused and driven people I know. it works. :)

this is refreshing! as someone who was goal oriented with a strict action plan hitting the ground running after college, I have learned to go in the opposite direction, and have balance. I still have daily action plans, and I have flexible bigger picture goals now... and they are within my rules and structure, so I can change them along the way! :)

Julia said...

I like goals...but I like to think of them as having more space. Goals sound so permanent to me. I got caught up in the goals posts that everyone was doing a few months ago and was encouraged to do my own. I thought it was a good idea but it really scared me. I did not like that permanent sound because I run to enjoy it...I did not want to feel bad about myself for not meeting goals. So...I titled it aspirations. That felt much less overwhelming. The problem was they were all related to times and turned into the rigid goals I originally feared. I became way too obsessed and totally lost sight of "just having fun" and enjoying running because I like the way I feel, etc. Not soon after I got my injury...I have no idea if these things are related but to me they probably are. I really like your word "strive" though. That sounds so much more like me...always working toward something and learning along the way :)

We had a little dinner tonight (me, Janae, Megan, Ash, and Rachelle)...just the usual Utah blogger/runner meet-up and talked about how you want to do a huge epic blogger meet-up. We decided this MUST occur and threw around the idea of Vegas. Regardless...this must happen :)

NJ said...

I find myself going between goals and not having goals...it depends on what it is. If I have no goals on anything, I flounder but I know where I need to just let passion take hold so I don't get too compulsive.

Melissa S said...

I was just thinking about this earlier today on my walk home from the gym. I have goals for EVERYTHING. Literally. From training plans for races, to get better at x y and z or to do everything on my to do list every day, to cooking the best meal, to calling my friends. It's actually quite draining! I always fall short because I have too many and if I am not meeting them "exactly" i feel terrible because I don't quit anything. I love your idea of overarching things that you strive for on a daily basis but don't necessarily have a definitive "endpoint". I just moved to NYC a month ago and everything was in limbo. My new job changes daily and for the first time in my life I have no goals! I am really enjoying every day and every experience much more so I am pretty darn happy without goals. But i still have challenges every day i set for myself, but i have found that they become a lot more like your " things to strive for" rather than goals. I think it's hilarious in a way though because people say runners are type A's and it looks like a lot of us are saying we don't make goals bc we got so compulsive about them and put so much pressure on ourselves to accomplish them! look at us, are we nuts?!

S @ extremebalance.net/blog said...

I'm SUPER goal-oriented and can't imagine life without 'em, but at the same time, I only think being goal-less is a problem if you're adrift like a rudderless ship. If you can't meet a deadline, function in society, and are a mass of "maybe somedays", "if onlys" and "I wish I weres, that's when being goal-free is a bit of an issue.

I envy the peace that you must have NOT to rely on goals to get by, all in all. :)

Sara @ Nourish and Flourish said...

Love this post! I used to feel a bit inadequate for not setting more goals...Was I being lazy? Unmotivated? I've always been a perfectionist and high achiever, but for some reason, goal-setting makes me anxious. Like you, I don't work well under pressure, and I actually accomplish less when I'm working on a deadline!

I just love your outlook, Lindsay! "Growing," "challenging," and "focusing" are wonderful ways to accomplish those things that are most important in life!

chuck feerick said...

I definitely like your way of looking at it! Great thoughts Lindsay. I also like when people challenge me to things- either because they think I can't, but even more so when they believe that I CAN do something. That really drives me to give even more!

k said...

you're describing something that I too am trying to implement- by not setting goals, I'm not giving myself 'rules' to live by in order to attain them. I'm trying to be less regimented and listen to my body, my surroundings and accept that, so long as I'm proactive in my positivity, life will take the course that it's meant to

Why struggle?!

lindsay cotter said...

I love that. Proactive in Positivity. Great words to live by! Thank you friend.
 
Lindsay



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Madeline said...

I love these goals. I'm a huge fan on planning not to plan, and leaving myself room for spontaneity because I've gotten myself into trouble trying to make things TOO goal oriented. Right now my goals are continuing my life/work balance, being there for my family and my boyfriend as much as possible, and building my running base to train for fall races while listening to my foot to keep from getting injured again!

lindsay cotter said...

Sara, we sound so alike. I knew that trying to be a perfectionist in EVERYTHING
would turn me sour. I think some people are great at goals and planning out
their future. For me, i know that if I do that, I'll lose focus on whats right
in front of me....all these blessing. Thank you for sharing. I love how we can
connect!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Well sid Julia. I really love your thought process and the word
you use.....ASPIRATIIONS! Its perfect! Thank you for encouraging  us and YES
YES, EPIC BLOGGER MEET UP!!!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

again, we think alike. Thats what happend to me. Almost like a burnout. I was
done with it. Life needs balance, it needs to bend and be flexible. I was stuck
on a way street before. Oh kristina. We could talk  for hours I am sure!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

well said s. And I am productive person anyway, so goals just add on more. You
are like my husband. You need that to GOAL to get things done. I admire that
determination too!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

girl I could not have said it better. and no, we are not nuts! we just think it
out! haha.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

YEP AND YEP! Thats how i am. Planning not plan gives me a peace. Leaves room for
that spontaneity, well said Madeline! I heart you ya know?!
;)
 
Lindsay



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Mindy Parisi said...

This is a great post. Deadlines make me anxious too! I completely understand your thought process. Just because your goals aren't very rigid, doesn't mean you are not striving for something and growing as a person. Have a beautiful day Linds.
xo
Mindy

Gen said...

For me, it depends on the type of goal or on my situation. If I'm being lazy about something, setting a goal will motivate me. But, if I set a goal for something that I'm already working towards, I get stressed out!!!!

jobo said...

Another absolutely beautiful post and I couldn't agree more about goals. I don't tend to make them (similar to resolutions) because of the end state...the deadline. I'd rather strive for things too and have ongoing goals, if you will, rather than ones with an actual deadline. I know I've said it about 15 times by now, but I just love your messages in your posts, and your words about your faith and your devotion to your family and husband. It's just so refreshing.

Heather (Where's the Beach) said...

I don't think of myself as a goal setter either. The last true goal was my first half marathon. I think i am more like you on just wanting to grow rather than setting some hard and fast deadlined goal.

Jess said...

Wow. Once again you stun me with your inspiring, honest, open words. I love this. Especially your focus on growth (which is a never-ending "goal" if you think about it) vs. hard and fast goals. And just how supportive you are of the hubs who is overflowing with goals, it's so touching to see. Really. Lovely.

Christine said...

I don't really do "goals" either. Every month I set my "goals" but they really aren't. They have no deadlines therefore are not goals. They are more like challenges. But I think I can come up with a better way to describe them if I put some thought into it. Endeavors maybe? Does that sound too wishy-washy?

Nora said...

Goals?? hmm no, I put way to high expectations on myself then when I don't reach them I'm really upset.. :(

Michelle @ The Cooking Life said...

I tend to be goal-driven, I have to admit. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing when I can see the "end" so I work hard to get there. Bad when I get tunnel vision and forget about anything else. Also, this can play into insecurities, etc :( As far as New Year's Resolutions, I don't really make them but I did make a "goals" list - http://thecookinglife.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/resolutions-maybe-maybe-not/

S @ extremebalance.net/blog said...

Determined? I guess---but even more it's being SO fired up by a challenge: if the goal is insane, it's even more fun. :D

And no one who's read your blog would doubt your productivity for a second!

Susan said...

I like goals but I think I've been thinking of them as deadlines more than daily goals. I have done something different lately and just made goals that are daily and something that I can keep up with. E.g. Drink 10 glasses of water daily. I don't have a deadline but I do keep track of it and recognize myself when I did meet it. :) When I was really just deadline driven, I just psyched myself out, which led to failures...which led to disappointment...which led me to not make deadlines anymore.

Holley Theodore said...

I am weird about my goals too. I do make them, but I keep them to myself a lot. They motivate me personally, but I don't like feeling like I have to keep up appearances for anyone else other than myself or start feeling I am doing them out of obligation. I do it for me! And sometimes our goals change or are modified and I guess it would bother me I thought people were looking at me thinking I was not following through or something. Totally dumb of me I realize, but I like to finish what I start. Thank you for your honesty. I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with that! And really... all the goals you are helping the hubs to achieve is HUGE!

Angie said...

I love that! What a great outlook! I don't do great with goals... I just do things that usually lead to a place I would like to be. Every single thing you listed, I need to do, lol!

jenncotter said...

I'm so glad I found this blog! You put into words so beautifully what I'm usually thinking.

Christina said...

I don't make goals either!!! GOALESS-HIGH FIVE

Abby said...

Great attitude! I love your challenges.. and your mindset about goals. I'm the say way! I need wiggle room!

Jen said...

Can I just tell you how happy I found your blog?! I love your approach to things and you really get me thinking! I suck at goals, so I never make them...I fail after a day usually. But I love these ideas, so thank you :)

Stephanie said...

I think my goals and your growth opportunities are pretty similar. :) I tend to vary my desires between a very specific goal oriented task (i.e. Time Test Tuesdays) and a loftier overall lifetime goal (love without judgment and to the best of my ability) etc. One growth opportunity I'm taking right now is to LISTEN to what the world is asking of me. So that I can place my energy in the right direction. :)

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

What a great post and great attitude about goals and such. I hear ya, girl! For me, I particularly get obsessive if I don't complete goals as quickly as I think I should. But I do love to have a list of random things that I know I want to accomplish eventually (but it's stuff like "sew an article of clothing" or "go to a drive in movie"... stuff that I want to be able to do eventually but with no real time limit set. :)

Liz said...

I see eye to eye with you on this one! I think goals are great and work for many, but I try to live with as little stress as possible, and I think goals have a tendency to stress people. Well, me at least. I much prefer challenges and "loose" goals!

Olivia said...

I'm so with you that goals sometimes just suck! I don't like the anxiety they give me as I push myself beyond limits to get them accomplished! (like running an under 21 minute 5k...it never happened yet, and just made me feel like crap every race!) so I agree that sometimes having no goals is better then having a huge list!

klh said...

I like your outlook on goals! My goal(s) as of late are just getting through each day and enjoying the people and things around me that I love! I can't say that I will never set goals but like you I become obsessed with whatever it is and forget to enjoy the process!
Hugs : )

hungryrunnergirl said...

I love how completely supportive you are of James!! Best wife goes to you!! This post hit me strong. I can't wait to hit the trails again because I am passionate about it rather than obsessing over 'goals.' You should definitely do a post about your grocery budgeting...I need help! YAY to listening to your body!! Have an amazing day gorgeous girl!

lindsay cotter said...

amen to that. Whatever happened to just enjoying the process? Step back and
evaluate it one day at a time. Right?
 
Lindsay



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Tina Reale said...

I relate to this SO much! I don't usually have laid out written goals because I prefer just giving my all to certain things each day and letting it take me where it will naturally. If that makes sense? I am much more on the same path as you!

Samanthaswalton said...

beautiful words! i love the motivation to be a support to our husbands. what a wonderful calling in life.

lindsay cotter said...

yes m'am. And I bet that as a mom, its so important to do that. Right? You never
know what the day is going bring but you strive to bring in balance, love, etc.
Youre so good at that Tina.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

I can relate to that Gen. I used to stress out all the time because of that. Day
by day is much better for me now. Hope all is well friend. Any more Gluten Free
meals?
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

yes, well said Natalie. Letting our passions take hold is just the right phrase.
I want to try to linger on that each day just to make sure I don't ever lose my
passion due to stress, imbalance, etc. What a great reminder, thank you!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Yes, you are passionate and it keeps us inspired. Even when you can't run, your
passion resonates in us all. I love that about you Janae!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

I realized that too when I was in college. Too much pressure to achieve led me
to feel run down and depressed. Thats not living, ya know? But others really do
well with it. and thats great! to each his own, right?
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

steph, thats an awesome growth opportunity! and I love to see that reflected on
your  blog. Please keep us posted on that. Its something I feel like everyone
can and should embrace!
 
Lindsay Co




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lindsay cotter said...

Jen,
I am so glad we found each other too. Its nice to have the same views and
support each other. Its all about how we word things in our mind. Goals,
ambitions, etc. Right?
;) 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

haha, maybe its a cotter thing, eh? Love that!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

we can hold each other accountable then, sound good?!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

michelle, thank you for sharing this post! I can totally relate to it. And I
love how you use your motivation for each!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Endeavors sound spot on. I like that! You should write a post on it.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

I can see how you would want to keep those personal. I would too! It means so
much more, ya know? Thank you for your honesty Holley! I love your approach.
 
Lindsay
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lindsay cotter said...

yes, i  like that susan. daily goals without a deadline. I tend to be much
happier when I look at it that way too! Well said friend!
 
Lindsay




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Jessica Howells said...

Goals must be the blogging theme this week! This is the third post I have seen today that talks about making goals. You the first, I must say, that argues the other side. I say, what works for one person may not work for another, so if you don't want to make goals, you don't have to. I think people who set goals need that motivation or encouragement and others it does nothing for them. I like to see two sides of an argument so this post was refreshing! I am still undecided on how I feel about making goals.....

(what runs) Lori said...

I do well with physical goals I set for myself but not so great with emotional goals. I wish I could be as strong as you!

lindsay cotter said...

emotional ones are hard. I think its best to make those a daily goal, ya know?
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

jess,
I think thats what inspired me to write this post. I saw all those GOAL postings
for the month of may and I felt pressure. It was totally my own doing too. I had
to let it go through this post. To each his own, whatever works best for thats
persons motivation, drive, balance, etc. I think when we are a little more
settled, I will probably have more REAL LONG-TERM goals, but not today. THank
you for reading yet another goal post. haha!
 
Lindsay




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Bonnie Lang said...

Wow Lindsay - what a GREAT post! Mainly because I feel exactly the same way...goals and I...well, we function like goals and you! The pressure I put on myself to accomplish those goals nullifies the beauty of achieving them, in a sense. I enjoy reading about people who set goals and hit them, who can push themselves in a healthy way with them, and there are times when I can set goals. But generally, I live better if I choose to make better decisions and choices each day, just like you explained. Thanks for writing it out so well! makes me think of doing a similar post on my own thoughts.

I gave a talk at a retreat we were at this weekend to a group of cancer survivors about fitness and health and debated what I would say. These survivors are hit with what to eat, what to eliminate, how to move, when to move, what to focus on, etc in specific details that often run them ragged. Instead of giving them a personalized fitness plan (their bodies are changing so much through cancer!) and nutrition plan (it's so different for each person!), I gave them two thoughts to begin integrating into their daily life: 1. Eat Real Food and 2. Move More. We had some great discussions off those points, and I feel like goal setting is the same to me - set the main "life goals" and move from there, being kind to yourself and also challenging yourself.

Thanks for your great thoughts! Love who you and your husband are; thanks for sharing with us!

Ericapletan said...

I'm the same way!!! I feel like when I make a goal for myself I freak out and end up not following through with it. Thank you for making me feel more "normal"!

Jenny Mendez said...

Yay good to know I'm not the only one that doesn't set monthly goals haha. I actually tweeted about it the other day that I always feel like the only blogger who doesn't make goals. I am not alone :D

natalie said...

Aaaaah, I love this - "I don’t make goals because I get too caught up in achieving those goals and therefore lose sight of living and embracing the present."

That's totally me. I'll get too caught up in training that I don't let myself enjoy moments. I'm slowly but surely getting over this, because, darn it, I'll eat that cupcake and I doubt it'll affect me!!

James Walsh said...

I need to get on board with that grocery budget challenge. healthy eating isn't always that cheap....

lindsay cotter said...

no kidding! I've been trying to find more organics at costco and shopping in
the bulk section at whole foods. Seems to help. The wine is the problem. Can't
just buy cheap wine. haha!
 
Lindsay



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Heather @ Dietitian on the Run said...

I'm totally a goal-setter, NOW, but that's the lululemon culture living and breathing in me. I can totally relate to the anxiety/pressure side of it, but I think there's a part of me that always wanted to strive with that behind me. I had a tendency to move towards the 'easy' way of thinking, and found myself settling for things that didn't force me to challenge myself. Now, I set goals and go after them, and if it doesn't work out, that pushes me to try harder or find something more fitting - whatever that may be :)

Either way, this is very much a 'to each their own' area - and you've found what works for YOU!

Kath (My Funny Little Life) said...

You don't sound lame, and I totally love your approach! I used to make goals all the time and then obsess about them, and in fact this inhibited me a lot, and sometimes I ended up doing nothing because the dimensionality of my goals intimidated me so much. But if something doesn't work for you, change the strategy, no? So, I've started to focus on the process rather then the goal - I just do a little something every day, but I'm carefully to establish a consistency with what I do. I don't worry about the outcome any more. Since I've started this, I've realized that I get where want to get anyway, but without all those worries and struggles I used to have otherwise.

lindsay cotter said...

wow Bonnie! I'd love to hear more about your talk with these survivors. I can't
even fathom that kind of approach to health, just trying to get past the cancer.
WOW and WOW! thank you for always putting things in GODS perspective. Hope you
are well!
 
Lindsay



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smriti kirubanandan said...

Nice!!!!I love your post...and I like how you prioritize Hubs!Good choice ..Hope you have a great day :)
smriti

lindsay cotter said...

thats exactly it! consistency in the little everyday goals is what makes me feel
confident and affirmed. I love that we think the same in that aspect Kath!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

you are  not alone at all my dear friend. Everyone works differently, ya know?!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

I thought about you and Dorry and the lulu goal setting. I think that is GREAT
too! You do it so well. You embrace those goals and run with them. Look where
its taken you! Amazing!

 
Lindsay




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Jennifer Laughlin said...

I "state" goals. Get excited about them. Even toss em on the blog.... Then I forget them! oof! i'm complex as well ;) and totally understand where you're coming from and your methods of being happy healthy and focused! <3

xoXOxo
Jenn @ Peas & Crayons

Jennifer Houlahan said...

I love this post! I can so relate to not wanting goals to get in the way of the sheer enjoyment of experiencing life. Also I don't want my personal goals to get in the way of my family and marital goals. Like you I have to be flexible right now with where we live and other aspects of our life and I just want to be able to roll with the punches!

Such a great post Lindsay!

lindsay cotter said...

yes totally. I think marriage has really switched things up a bit for my goals,
in a good way. Its all about US not just me, ya know? Hope your feeling good
after your race.
;)
 
Lindsay




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Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen said...

I don't set goals either! I'm much more of a "little challenges" girl. :)

Megan @munchercruncher said...

Linds, you are freaking amazing. I love the way you look at life. Sometimes I think the goals I place for myself put too much pressure on me and I don't live in the present like you said. Thanks for the reminder! I just found out today my sister is moving BACK to Austin. I guess I'll have to come visit her AND YOU! :) xoxoxo

Joanna Sutter said...

Trust...good word. I so need to do a little more of that these days.

Shannon said...

Great post! I definitely find it interesting, as I tend to have things in mind that I want to do, but have trouble making hard and fast "goals" b/c you never know what might come up, expectations might have to be adjusted. A slightly different perspective, but love the focus on challenges and growth!

Lauren @ WWoB said...

I love love love this. I am so proud of you for realizing what is harmful to you even though so many people cling to it (making goals). Do what is best for YOU. I dont set long term goals... really the only thing I do is make to do lists. But that is kind of a mini goal?

Rachelle Wardle said...

What an amazing post and I completely agree with you. You are truly inspirational and I am so excited to have found your blog. I think the main point of goals is to make sure your focus is in the right direction and it looks like yours is without any specific 'goals'. Have a wonderful day!

lindsay cotter said...

exactly! and it seems like more things keep "popping" up when we get older.
Life gets a little more complicated, haha.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

it is hard to not put pressure on ourselves when our society is always saying we
must be busy and successful, right? I would rather enjoy the life God created
for us one day at a time! and please COME VISIT!!
 
Lindsay



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janetha @ meals & moves said...

i think i closed this before commenting yesterday! i thought i commented. i just referenced it in my post and i read it again and i just loved it even more.

Emma (Sweet Tooth Runner) said...

And THIS is why I love you Lindsay Cotter!! You are so SO inspirational and just plain amazing!! I love your PASSION!! I can't wait to get out there hitting those trails again! Those are the best runs- no set time, no plan, no nothing- just running! :) And AMEN sista!! Ultimately, goals or plans or whatever are NOTHING if we don't trust in Him!!

Love. This. Post! Have an amazing day!!

Erin @ Until You Tri said...

Your reasons totally make sense to me, and I totally appreciate your focus on the "now" vs. getting too wrapped up in the "future." The only real "goals" I have are usually just when I sign up for new/longer races. Like signing up for my first marathon/triathlon or my first HALF IRONMAN in May:). I like to have something to push myself for, otherwise I sometimes get a little lost in my day-to-day training. I envy your desire to focus on the present and to be the support crew for your hubby. You rock!:)

Natalia said...

I'm so happy I'm not the only one who isn't a fan of "goals!" Of course I have ambitions and set things I want to accomplish and do in the future, and it's not that I'm afraid of committment or not reaching a certain goal. Instead, though, I try to make each day and moment count and to accomplish what I want to do in the now rather than make it something I have to cross off a list. Not sure if that makes sense, but it works for me :)

lindsay cotter said...

You said it girl! I love the way you said it. make each moment count!
 
Lindsay




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Kissmybroccoli said...

Great post Linds! I've tried to set goals, but I usually have a hard time staying positive when I'm not accomplishing them the way I'd like. I think I'd rather just have a little "structure" instead...kind of like the things you "strive" for. Less stress and pressure because let's face it...life in general gives us enough of that!

lindsay cotter said...

You nailed it Heather. i really thought I'd be the only one who thought that.
Glad we can relate and STRIVE towards structure!
;) 
Lindsay



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Petra Duguid said...

What a fabulous post. I KNEW this would be interesting - I'm so sorry I did not get here earlier. It is a really interesting way of looking at things and I like your thinking. I had not thought about how goals kind of take you away from living in the present but you're very right about that and that intrigues me. Your support for your husband is really touching and moving - do you help him when he struggles with his goals? Really really loved this post. Food for thought, this time...

lindsay cotter said...

you really inspired me to write this. I was actually nervous because i didn't
think anyone would "get" me. Oh little did I know... haha. My husband has big
goals, dreams, etc. And I like the be able to support those because ultimately
we are a team. I promised that when we got married and it really is a passion
and a privilege to be able to be by his side!
 
Lindsay




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Rach @ This Italian Family said...

What a great post and great attitude about goals and such. I hear ya, girl! For me, I particularly get obsessive if I don't complete goals as quickly as I think I should. But I do love to have a list of random things that I know I want to accomplish eventually (but it's stuff like "sew an article of clothing" or "go to a drive in movie"... stuff that I want to be able to do eventually but with no real time limit set. :)

Anglea said...

I totally agree with you. Most goals I've set recently have been unsuccessful and I was trying to work out the reasons. I had a lightbulb moment by recognising they resembled exams - a date in the f uture when people are going to know if you are any good or not.

I didn't realise just how much this affected my life until I started reflecting on my daily routines and it seems everything I do has become a pass or fail in my eyes and I've taken it even further, so I seem to be testing other people too. 

Weight loss - a lot of brides put on weight even though they want to look good in their expensive dresses that fit when they are bought, yet a few days before the wedding are far too tight. That one day in their lives that is supposed to be perfect. So much pressure to look good..

I think some of this pressure could be taken off  if we think about other people in our family not always worrying about ourselves. In that way you are supporting your husband's goals or thinking about God. He tells us to only think about one day at a time  as no one knows if there will be a tomorrow...

lindsay cotter said...

well said angela. And I loved the last bit of advice....one day at a time. That
is how God created us to think.
 
Lindsay Cotter
Nutrition Manager & Fitness Consultant
lyndzut@sbcglobal.net   
www.cottercrunch.com




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