Sunday, July 17, 2011

A burden lifted…

I think my sappy posts just might be coming back. But this time they are little more real. A big step for the good ol’ Cotter Crunch. But alas, it’s time to share a little more. Time to give you all a little more.

"God is lovingly taking everything that has happened, creating something of great worth.
In the void of our lives, He does His best work, faithful to bring order out of chaos, beauty out of darkness."

In a marriage, I firmly believe we should carry each other’s burdens. This helps lighten the load for one another and maybe, just maybe, relieve some tension. It’s all supposed to even out, right? Well what if those burdens kept feeding off each other and continued to weigh each other down more and more. It would cause huge stress and exhaustion.

A few weeks ago we realized that this was us. Striving to meet each other needs and wants while also carrying each other burdens just left us tired, feeling strained/stressed, and going nowhere.

I would often (and still kinda do) worry about the hubs training. Is he training enough or is he training too much? I don’t want him to be tired and feel like he has to work more in order to afford travel/accommodations for races.  Is his knee feeling okay today? Is he eating the right meals? Am I making him enough food? Quality food? Should I budget more? Maybe I should take on more clients, teach more classes, or try to promote Healthy Bites more, etc. etc. etc. The point was, I wanted him to feel free to train and race as his profession and not worry about finances. So I busied myself so much that I when I actually did have down time, i became anxious. My stomach would hurt, I’d feel nauseous, and a little sick to my stomach. I had become one big ball of mess, and I had forgotten to take care of my own needs. In fact, I felt guilty when I did.

In return, the hubs would worry about me. He’d look at me and say “stop, just rest. Don’t worry about taking on more. You’re too busy.” He worried constantly about me and my need to take on more and more. It was always on his mind and I could see that he was stressed and feeling anxious about something. He felt useless, like he couldn’t do anything to stop this cycle. And he couldn’t.

So you see, we kept feeding each other’s burdens, to the point where it just became too heavy. Neither of us had strength to lift. We were too weak.

But where we are weak, HE (God) is strong. Through lots of continued prayer, we have realized that God is the only one who can carry these burdens. How have we not realized that before? How have lost sight of that? Easy, it’s the constant need to feel in control or want more out of life. That’s how. And with that, we lost JOY!

Today we are slowly but surely gaining strength. Strength to lift, or rather release these burdens from each other and hand them over to God. He is in control, not me. And first time in a long time, I am okay with that. Phew!

I write this today for many reasons. For one, I felt like God put it on my heart. And two, to let you see that life is messy and life is heavy. We are not the perfect couple. We don’t have our sh*t together. But thank God we don’t have to worry about that anymore.  Instead, let’s love one another, pray for one another, thank God for what He's given us, and just live one day at a time.

DSCF0842_thumb3Easier said than done some days, but it’s a start. 

Cheerfully Yours,
LC

p.s.
I realize that not everyone will agree with me on this topic. This may not be a post you can relate to or want to read about, and thats okay. I wrote this for me today.
:)

139 comments:

Casey said...

Beautiful. :) And so true. It's amazing how hard it can be for us to just do nothing but believe, to just let go of it all and give all our worries away.

Heather @ Where's the Beach said...

Great post my friend. I really enjoyed reading this. It says volumes about the kind of relationship you have. I think it also says volumes about you as a person, friend, wife.

Holly said...

Lindsay I loved this post -- and I can relate to what you are talking about. Ever since Jason lost his job we've been in a similar spot: and we need to be more trusting that God has a plan for us and we're just working through a low spot in that plan :)

(((HUGS))) to you and James. 

Michelle @ The Cooking Life said...

just emailed you, friend! praying praying praying for you guys this morning.

Petra said...

Lindsey I always need to read your posts.  And this one was particularly good.  I hadn't thought about the above but you're right and this is right - and thank goodness you don't always have your sh*t together.  Nobody does and it's more interesting that way.. 

Katie said...

Good for you, Lindsay. Write for you, no one else. :)

Pam said...

I couldn't agree with you more!  You're an awesome wife and you & your hubby are lucky to have each other!   :)

Have a great Sunday!!  :)

Blonde Ponytail said...

I'm so glad you posted this Lindsay.  Sounds like you both are so giving and selfless, but you forgot the actual  "self" part!  this is beautifully written.  I like the phrase you shared "carry each other's burdens"--so true in a strong marriage.

On a lighter note, I think of you and the hubs when I see the new KSWISS ads.  Kenny Powers cracks me up!!

Ally said...

Great post.  I always appreciate it with bloggers are real about what is going on in their lives/marriages.  I used to do this a ton with my hubs' super stressful work situation and I realized I had to let go. It was a control thing for me.  I kept on telling him how to deal with super stressful and awful situations at work without trusting my hubs' or that the Lord would provide.  Once I let go I felt a lot better.  It's a constant process though.  Cheers to you sweet girl!  :)

april said...

I love hearing real/more personal topics.. thank you for sharing!

Kathleen said...

Ha. I completely relate. I do things because I want my husband to be happy and he does things because he wants me to be happy and sometimes both of us end up not being happy. Despite our best efforts. Yep, we definitely don't have our crap together either :)

Trisha said...

so perfectly written :) thanks for sharing. i know what you are feeling...and it's a good thing we both know God is in charge and watching over us. 

Sarah said...

What a great post about such important things! I especially liked when you talked about being okay with God being the one in control. I feel like it is often easy to trust God to do a specific thing, but we are called to trust God in ANYTHING and that's where it get's hard.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Tara @ Dashing in Pearls said...

This was beautifully written, Lindsay! 

Caroline said...

You are not alone. We are now in a stressful situation also. I just wrote about it. Crazy insane working hours, daddy never here for the kids , when he is here he is not "present". I am on single parent mode...hard on our relationship also. Brings a lot of stress and frustrations. We both carry burdens too big for us now. Life is hard sometimes.

lindsay cotter said...

I'm so sorry caroline. My thoughts and prayers are with you. wish I could be
there to help. I'm sure we'd be able to lean on each other.

:)
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

thank you tara. Its good to hear from you.
<3
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

so true sarah. Trusting him with ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is a lot harder than it
sounds, but also so freeing!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

thank you trisha. True, He is watching over us. Thanks for this great reminder.
Happy Sunday friend.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

thank you for always listening April
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

wow, thank you ally. Its good to know that others have been in the same boat. It
is a constant process. And continued work!
But worth it.
 
Lindsay



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Courtney said...

Lindsay, friend. I understand every single word in this post. I have major control issues, and I am a work-in-progress trying to give my worries over to God. I really liked the part about how so much stress and the need for control and take the JOY out of our lives - so, so true. 

I'm so happy your heart felt compelled to write this post today. I pray this will open the eyes of those who may be experiencing similar feelings. 

lindsay cotter said...

thank you jess. oh and We crack up at KENNY POWERS all the time. Love it!!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

That means so much coming from you Heather. Thank you! Now go enjoy that beach.
hehe.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

ahh totally, give them away. Joy to my heart!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

<3 you
 
 



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lindsay cotter said...

we are here for each other Holly. I love that. Its good to know that these
things happen to others as well. Hugs to you friend.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

you are so amazing court! thank you for sharing this. And thank you for prayers.
Enjoy your sunday!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

I feel very lucky indeed. Thank you pam. Enjoy your sunday!
 
Lindsay



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klh said...

Thanks for being so open and honest!  This is YOUR blog so write for YOU!  I hope the burdens begin to lessen as you both continue to open your heart and gain strength through prayer!  I am always hear to listen if you need to vent!  Take today to rest and prep for the week!  Hugs to you Linds!
Love!
Katie : ) 

Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) said...

You know I'm with you on this 100%. I feel like Tony and I do the same thing when it comes to supporting each other. We are so in tune with each other that we start carrying the burdens too. I think it's important to share this with others. We definitely take one day at a time. I've found that looking back or looking too far forward only makes things worse. We have to live in the now and we have to trust in each other. 

lindsay cotter said...

yes m'am. Love that you did the same the other day. Beautiful voice!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

yes, we are far more interesting that way. Ha! We are a mess, but at least we
have each other. Right?!
;)
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

oh well said Sarena. I knew you'd give such great advice and someone I can
relate to. Thank you for sharing this, as always!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

will do friend. Hugs.
xxoo
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Always here to listen and relate kathleen! thanks for sharing this. Good to know we're not alone. ya know? Cheers!

Stephanie said...

What a lovely post.  Sometimes we love someone so much that we want to take all stress off of them, but that just makes everything harder for both people.  I love that you and your husband recognized that you were falling into this trap and that you've committed to loving each other without the crazy stress.  It's a beautiful love story!

Sable@SquatLikeALady said...

I totally agree with this post -- and can't imagine why on earth anyone wouldn't! If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else! Not effectively anyway :) I am confident that everything will always fall into place for you, even if sometimes it feels like it won't or doesn't... you are that kind of gentle old soul who has done so much good and spread so much peace and joy that it will all comeback to you :)

Rebecca Lustig said...

I can relate to the feelings of worrying so much about someone we love that we fail to recognize the need to care for ourselves. It's much easier to turn to externalities that we can help control/manipulate,  than turn inwards and take a deep hard look at what is going on. Self care can create guilt, anxiety, and uncover a whole mess of emotions that would seem to be better off unnoticed. But that is false. We must turn inwards, we must care for and love ourselves. And we must remember that what we DO and who we ARE is ALWAYS enough. 

One of my favorite quotes: "And yet you are all you have, so that must be enough"

runforanna said...

As usual, Lindsay, you hit the nail on the head.  My most anxious, stressful moments have been times when I forgot to let God have control.  I'd try to "fix" everything myself and then wonder why it was going so badly!  Beautiful, eloquent post and I'm so happy you shared with us.  :)

Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner said...

This is so relevant to me right now. We are building a house, and hubby is overseeing everything, but I am the sole breadwinner right now, and worried about finances as well. So of course I try to do everything I can to help, and all he sees is that I can't stop worrying and wants me to rest. I hope that with the completion of the house we will be less stressed and have fewer burdens we'r carrying around. I know that I need to worry less, and let things take their course!

Kristina @ spabettie said...

thank you for sharing this, Lindsay! the relationship and support you two have for each other is inspiring and beautiful! and as always, I take your words as perspective that will help guide ME! <3

lindsay cotter said...

Gosh, you guide me Kris. With such ease and gentleness. Thank you for being
there, to listen and to share!
<3.
have a great sunday with Jason.
 Lindsay Cotter
Nutrition Manager & Fitness Consultant
lyndzut@sbcglobal.net   
www.cottercrunch.com




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lindsay cotter said...

oh vanessa, we definitely can relate. and thats a good thing. Sharing this can
helps us look at the bigger picture, youre so right. I hope you find some time
to yourself this sunday.

Hugs,
LC
 

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Lindsay said...

Linds, thanks for sharing! I wish I had faith the way that you have expressed. I've lost it over the years after family illnesses and my parents' divorce and I'm not sure how to go about getting it back. But, this is inspiring, and it's great to know you and the hubs are able to love and support one another so much!

Jess said...

I just want to HUG YOU!!! This was the most beautiful, most real post I've ever read from you. It shows your heart, the strength of your marriage, the commitment you have to one another, but most of all the utter love and affection you have for one another that you'd do just about ANYTHING (and then some) to make them happier, healthier, less stressed, etc. I am so glad you two are rediscovering your joy and your commitment to your faith. Because you are right - God is the only one that can carry life's burdens and it's what He WANTS to do for us. So why do we put up such a fight over it sometimes, huh? I know I'm guilty of this too. This post is an awesome reminder to remember that He is at the wheel. Always. xoxo

Jenny Houlahan said...

Lindsay,

Thank you so much for sharing what you two are going through. It is clear from all of your posts just how much you two work your hardest to support each other through thick and thin and I'm not surprised that, given your dedication, you ended up neglecting your own needs. I am so glad that you recognized it and are working together to take the pressure off of one another. I admire both of you and your dedication and hard work and wish you all the best with all you strive to accomplish both as a couple and individually. :)

Pure2raw Twins said...

Amen! Beautiful said Lindsay! It is nice to see that I am not the only one who struggles with this. Gary and I too have our burdens and stresses, though I tend to do it A LOT more than he does. He is always so calm and not worried about things like I am. He is always telling me that I work too much, but it is hard when you are trying everything to make this work both in personal and business (especially business).  Anyways I needed to hear this today because I have been stressing a little too much and need to pray more often and know that I am going to be ok :) Thanks girl! You are an amazing person and I can't wait too meet you one day! xoxo 

Allie said...

AWESOME post! And soo true.. I think people constantly worry about other and in turn forget to take time for themselves, when all along we need to realize that only God can carry all of our burdens and take care of us if we only trust in Him with ALL of our hearts!

LOVE YOU!

lindsay cotter said...

oh we are one in the same! I have the same worries. And my hubs is super
relaxed. Him and Gary would probably get along great, haha. I hope this week
is stress free and spend some time on you and in prayer.
Big Hug!!
LC
 
 



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Allie said...

So totally agree with you :)

lindsay cotter said...

no thank you Jenny. Your words have touched my heart. I love how real and open
you are and really appreciate that! its good to know we have each other to
support.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

uh, so well said!! I love how you just read my mind Jess. Its funny how God
gives us friendships in our lives just at the right time and God definitely gave
me you. For so many reasons, which you know.
:)
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

exactly jenn! Being in control gets us nowhere but backwards, right? ugh, why
do we continue that way then? I'm ready to give it up to GOD! thank you
for sharing. I love your heart!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

oh sweet rebecca. You are so wise. I just love this and that quote. I will write
it down and keep it near me. Thank you! 
Hope you are well friend.
:)
 
Lindsay



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Sarah Lynton said...

thanks for your honesty, lindsay!  so true that we can get into cycles in marriage of feeding each others stress and feeling like it's up to us to "fix" everything!  michael & i certainly get into those cycles and things can really start spiraling downhill quickly.  really appreciate what you wrote!

lindsay cotter said...

oh sable, so true. I had to learn the hard way I guess. But better late than
never. Thank you for your kind comment and for sharing. Brings me joy!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

yes, good bye crazy stress!! We've had it. And its not worth it, right? We want
this love story to deepen, that for sure.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

yes m'am. And that trust is so crucial. Letting go and trusting is one of the
hardest things. But worth more than we know, right?
Love you Allie!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

oh linds. I understand. It can be hard to put that faith back out there. God has
his hand in it though. You just have to be willing. Feel free to email me
anytime. Hugs!

Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

Thank you Sarah. Its good to know we can relate. I knew that when I met you! and
I can't wait to share more with you. I hope we all get to hang out soon.
Cheers!

Lindsay



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Sarah Lynton said...

let's email about a time we might could work out or have a kombucha break together sometime this week!

Claire said...

This was a great read, thanks. I know exactly what you mean- it's a fine line between supporting the other whilst nurturing yourself and both being stress balls! I hope your strength continues to grow & you re-discover the joy in your life xxx

Erika @ Dr.TriRunner said...

Hey Honeybee :) Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share this post with us. I think many of us (myself included) can relate to the constant need to be doing something MORE. Be it for work, our children, our spouse, etc, Proverbs 16:1 really strikes a cord with me - it says "We can make our own plans,  but He gives the right answer." Whenever I think of it, I try to remember that no matter how much I stress myself out over something, in the end, it's really not up to me! Sometimes helps me just let that sigh of relief go. :) 

lindsay cotter said...

so well said Erika. And that verse says it all! What great scripture. Just what
we need to focus on. Thank you!

Lindsay




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Wendy said...

Your heartfelt posts always seem to match up to what I'm feeling/experiencing at the time.  I think (firmly believe) that's one of the many beautiful things that happen when we write from our hearts, just to write for us.  Others get it... if they need to :-)

With that said, I understand but in a different kind of way... :-)

After a rough-ish visit with the folks, I just prayed on the way home.  What else was I to do, but ask for God's help.  Keeping it in my hands wasn't the best idea, afterall I'm human! :-) 

I heard the answers, called my dad for a pinch of confirmation, and let it go.  I called my sis and on the second ring she ANSWERED!  On a Sunday night!  We had a blessed 5 minute chat in which she gave me some answers to things I knew were up, but I didn't have words for. 

Part of that was her reminding me that I sometimes do too much for others to intentionally put myself second.  Oh, I love my sis!  We rarely talk, but I guess  God knew it was needed!

As a result, I AM going to my favorite class on Weds. at 6:30 am and I'll gladly pay for it! :-)  Because going to the class makes me happy and there's an amazing group there!  :-)

Peace.  Calm.  Simplicity. 

Tina Reale said...

I can so relate to this and I'm so glad you shared. I think letting go is one of my hardest challenges and its one I have really battled with lately in myself. :)

Can't wait to hear the big thing for Cotter Crunch too. 

Missy said...

This was profound and beautiful. The family that prays together....has enough strength to play together (0: <--I just made that up!
I am sure everyone can relate to this: 

"We kept feeding each other’s burdens, to the point where it just became too heavy. Neither of us had strength to lift. We were too weak." 

Susan said...

I don't know if I'm at a point in my life journey to answer questions about God's presence but I definitely relate to parts of this post.

I carry so much concern in my heart and head for the important people in my life. And sometimes it is too much and get overwhelmed. I have to ask myself "what is this worry serving me?" and "what is this worry serving the people I love?" If it is not doing me any good, I have to try and let it go. I have to place it somewhere else, so when you talk about releasing your worries to God when they are no longer serving you, I totally get that!

Christine said...

It's hard in marriage when both people have a lot of burdens at the same time. :-(

lindsay cotter said...

i like that. yes, we can play together and enjoy life together!!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Tina, hearing that you can relate to this is comforting. and we are here to
comfort and support each other, right? Praying that the wrestling ends and the
letting go begins!
 
Lindsay




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Teamarcia said...

I can relate to this on so many fronts! There's so much going on sometimes and theres such a fine line between being in and out of balance its easy to lose ourselves in it all. I love that you wrote this and enjoyed many of The comments you got as well.

lindsay cotter said...

ahh, totally susan! what purpose is that worrying serving, for both you and for
those you love. Freeing your mind from that is one of the hardest things but
thats where we also can find JOY. ya know?

thanks for sharing this. xxoo
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

God does put our lives in a some form of correlation. I totally agree Wendy. I
hope you find time to yourself, to give to yourself this week!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

oh I dont know how you do it all! But you and your family are just precious and
I can see that joy! thanks for sharing.
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

exactly claire. and I love the way you said it, nuturing is the perfect word!
 
Lindsay



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Jenny Mendez said...

This is such a wonderful post. I think you both are such a great complement to each other and sometimes you do have to share the burden but it will only make you both stronger in the end. 

Rachelle Wardle said...

Beautiful post Lindsey.  I completely admire you for sharing this and for admitting that life isn't perfect.  It isnt't suppose to be but we must never lose faith and hope that if we put our burdens in gods hands and conitnue to pray things will work out.  Continue to stay positive and know that everything happens for a reason. :)

Jess said...

Such a beautiful post!! Thank you so much for sharing. :) Your hubby is right--you need to slow down :) 

Dorry said...

I love you, Linds! It's amazing to come back and read this for the 2nd time today and see how many people you reached with your honesty! You know well that I have similar stresses and struggles. Marriage is difficult - relationships in general! - and it's so important to always put God 1st. You do such a great job of reminding me that when I need advice. I hope your week gets off to an amazing start tomorrow! Let's talk soon. xo

Kelsey said...

From the get-go, I have always admired your relationship and when I see pictures of you two, and read a bit about your life together/how you interact, all i could think was 'they are soul mates' .. and even though the process of growing together inevitably means you will take on each others pains, being truthful and honest about them is what makes the journey worth the ride :)

When I was in school my religion teacher defined love for us by 'wanting what is best for the other person' .. which is exactly the case when your hubby knew you needed to slow down, take a break, rejuvenate, and take care of you. that is true love :)

xoxo <3

Kris | iheartwellness.com said...

Girl, you inspire me! Growing up I was never religious at all...we were never taught anything around God or what spirituality gives you.  At 30, I finally picked up the leather book and started reading it to see what it was all about as I knew inside I was missing a piece of spirit and wholeness...it is so interesting!

I love the connection you two have!! You are lobsters ;)  Can you tell I am a "Friends" geek over here!!  LOLxxoo

Meg23 said...

I love this post... uplifting and heartwarming!  

chuck feerick said...

Its awesome to see how much you both care for each other.  It's one thing to try and care for another person, but another thing entirely when you're doing that but don't realize it because you love the person.

Hope you had an awesome weekend Lindsay!

penny01966 said...

Awesome stuff. I find myself worrying too much and trying to make everything just right (like most women :-), thanks for reminding me that God has in all under control.

lindsay cotter said...

i have to remind myself each day as well Penny.
:)
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

thank you meg. How are you? Haven't  talked to you in a while!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Kris,
This is so amazing to hear! How God has called you in spirit. I hope he
continues to do so. Thank you for sharing, it really made my morning. Love you
friend.
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

Thats a beautiful definition of love and could not agree more. Kelsey, thank you
thank you! You always have such gentle and encouraging words.

 
Lindsay
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lindsay cotter said...

you know this already, but I love you!! Thank you friend.

Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

thanks Rachelle, everything does happen for a reason, just got let it takes it
course. well said!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

and it totally has so far . We are finding such strength throug this. You are so
right Jenny!
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

dang chuck, I'm so impressed with your wisdom. Thank you! I love hearing your
perspective. Hope you had a good weekend.

Run naked? haha.
 
Lindsay




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Madeline said...

Everyone needs something to believe in and a place to find calm and balance. I'm so happy you have yours!

Salah said...

This post is exactly what I needed today.  I've been stressing hardcore because this is the first time in my life I've been completely on my own financially (100% on my own) and I freak out b/c I don't have a huge client list here in Austin, and I haven't had much time to build my business due to the fact that ACTIVE Life was taking up 80% of my time....etc. I could go on forever lol. BUT the key thing is to know that regardless what happens in my life HE will always be my support, my everything, and thats what I lost sight of for a bit until about a week ago I started to finally realize that I need to trust more :-)  WHat a wonderful post!!!!

Gen said...

Loved this post! So true!!! 

Kate Horning said...

this is so true thank you for sharing, sometimes you get so caught up in life you forget the true purpose of what you're living for. god wont give us anything we cant handle in life

Tri-Living...Together said...

Amen!!!! I mean it! We are going through this now. My husband is working on his career and this tri.. his relay, his teens. He is tapped out. I'm tapped out because I'm holding down all the kids mostly by myself. We get strained and tired. Life is hard, God is good and is always there to whisper in our ears how He loves us.

Bonnie said...

Thank you so much for this post, Lindsay...I appreciate your willingness to open up and be vulnerable on your blog for the two of you! Especially because everything you are experiencing is so normal - there is so much truth to what you shared and so often we forget to turn to Jesus (I'm never sure how, because nothing else ever works! but we do!). I'll be praying for you guys as I check in on your blog; I don't know you that well but I'm drawn to you two and to praying for you. Thanks for being you and for being honest. May this week be one of refreshment and rest simply because you have acknowledged this. :)

Paige said...

You guys seem like SUCH an amazing couple. Even if not perfect, you guys seem to balance each other out wonderfully.

lindsay cotter said...

thank you paige. I feel lucky to have married this man! He definitely balances
me. haha.
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

Thank you Bonnie. Your prayers mean the world to us. And you are so right, Jesus
is the answer. I lose sight of that so easily sometimes. Cheers to a restful
week! 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

nora, you family is held together by such strength and I admire it more than you
know. Wow! I hope you get some time to yourself this week, even if its just for
a run or a solo swim.

Hugs!
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

you got that right girl! You will be more than fine being on your own and
stronger for it if you continue to trust. God will provide! Are you back in
town  yet?
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

so true friend. so true. Youre my little yoda. hehe. By the way, can we go to
the piggy's if I visit you?!

:)
 
Lindsay




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lindsay cotter said...

amen to that! now we just need to believe it, right? phew.

p.s.
are you getting my comments on your blog? I think i might still be spammed. boo!
 
Lindsay



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Stephanie said...

Hubs is totally right. Less work, more balance. Do as I say, because I sure wish I could follow my own advice. :D Seriously: you never know on any given day where you are in the trajectory of life... it may be long, it may not, so being sure to enjoy the ride *just a bit* every day is huge. For me, when I'm getting too drawn into the "have to's", I stop having any kind of presence in the moment... and then life just goes by WAY too fast... and suddenly, I wake up, and I'm 34. Where did the last 5 years GO!? Ack! I'm working on developing a catchy new philosophy to embody this. Send a St-Bernard with a nice Sav Blanc if I'm never heard from again. :D 

Sam said...

you two are so great!  finding that balance seems like such a challenge at times. thanks for always being real :)

lindsay cotter said...

ahh S, so true. And I'm all about this theory of yours. I'll keep the St. benard
locked up for now.

;)
 
Lindsay



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Smriti K said...

Thats great! Realization is the first step to anything.I know how exactly that feels.First take care of yourself and the rest will happen :)
I am glad you guys are doing well and growing together.Keep it going!xo
Smriti

kalli said...

what a fabulous post lindsay.  thank you for sharing your true, honest feelings with us.  i do feel honored.  you are right-sometimes in our craziness to control all we are actually losing control and getting kind of crazy!  i needed to hear this this morning.....thank you.

Angie said...

Such a great post, Lindsay! I tried to comment yesterday but my computer was being wierd. You two are moving forward in truth and that will take you so very far! Prayers your way sweet lady!

lindsay cotter said...

Thank You Angie, that means so much to hear. Such sweet words of affirmation!
:)
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

crazy is right and the path can get so off course when we try to steer it. Ugh.
Thank you for sharing Kalli.
:)
Lindsay




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tea-bag said...

thank you for your honesty!  it always makes it easier to go through our own struggles when we know that we're not alone.  still, i understand what you're saying when you say that holding eachother's burdens wasn't lightening your own.  ultimately, you had to surrender that perception of control over to a higher power.  i respect your honesty and decision!  thank you!

Heather @ Dietitian on the Run said...

You should write for you whenever you want! I'd assume we can all relate on some level - and if nothing else, its refreshing to hear somebody be real about all the ups and downs!

We're in a place of a little stress, a lot of hope an edge for transition right now - all day I've struggled with the absence of control over any of it and ALL DAY I've been reminding myself that that's OKAY. :)

LivelyKitchen said...

So true.  'Be still and know that I am God.'  - I repeat that verse to myself a lot lately.  It reminds me to both be still and to be fully aware that He is God.  Not a god, but the God.  What more could I need?  

Thanks for this post.

lindsay cotter said...

oh so true. I love that verse and I will remember this. thank you!! Hope to see
you wednesday!
 
Lindsay



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Kath (My Funny Little Life) said...

I love that you wrote this post, and I can relate very much, Lindsay! I'm also very glad that you could break the circle. What makes me happy the most, though, is that you never seem to doubt that the two of you belong together. :)

I like what you wrote about marriage - that it means carrying each other's packages. Still, it shold eat you up. It's important to care well for yourself, so that you're able to care well for the ones that are dear to you. During the past years, I've come to realize more and more how important it is to leave things up to God. (You know I don't read the Bible so much because I don't see myself within a certain religion, but I've never (!) doubted in the existence of God, and that he/she cares for all of us, not even in my darkest moments - and I've had a few! :O) But the life is so much more complex than we can conceive, and I believe that all our experiences are good for something in the end. We make them for a reason, and there's sense behind it which we often can't understand. This is why it's so important to trust and have faith.

I want to be married one day. Not only because I don't want to spend my whole life alone, but because I feel that marriage will give me the possibility to grow beyond what I could do on my own. I love the idea of standing up for each other in good and bad days. And I must admit that there's somebody with whom I can see all of this, but's it not possible right now. Let's see what the future will bring, and meanwhile, I'm praciticing patience and faith - what shall be, will be in the end, but that's not up to me.

Kath (My Funny Little Life) said...

That's what I've always thought - truly loving somebody means wanting the best for him or her. It's not egoistic at all.

Kath (My Funny Little Life) said...

eeehhh, it *shouldn't* eat you up ;)

lindsay cotter said...

i lvoe that you said that. THe absence of control is what gets me too. SO glad
you conquered it today heather! its so encouraging!
 
Lindsay




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Longchelsea25 said...

In my relationship with Craig I can be the same way.  When work is stressing him out, I tend to ask myself what can I do to help him.  Most of all, as silly as it sounds I am always a nervous wreck when Craig gets sick.  I always feel so horrible and get just as nervous and always think the worse. I think it is so hard to turn our problems to God and let him take care of them.  I need to work on praying and not worrying so much about the small things, God has a plan for all of us.   

Chrysta said...

Your last line totally sums up everything..."Instead, let’s love one another, pray for one another, thank God for what He's given us, and just live one day at a time." Words to live by for sure! I couldnt agree more darlin!

lindsay cotter said...

Kath,

this is beautiful and I believe every word of this will  come true. God has a
perfect plan for you and he is stirring your heart. I love hearing this and wish
we lived closer so we could hug and laugh together over coffee/tea.


<3!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

thank you T! that means so much. Such encouragement really does give me joy!

and congrats on your BIG MOVE!!
 
Lindsay



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lindsay cotter said...

the small things can almost be the hardest to let go of. I understand. Praying
that God can give you strength to let go.
 
Nutrition Manager & Fitness Consultant
lyndzut@sbcglobal.net   
www.cottercrunch.com




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Tara said...

Lindsay you are so moving!! I love your honesty here. Anxiety and worrying make things in life so complicated and definitely put a damper on things that can be hard to get around. It's so hard to maintain a balance sometimes, but once we let Him take control and lead us, and we think about what He has planned for us and shared with us, the little things seem so trivial and manageable. Thanks for sharing this!!

lindsay cotter said...

so well said tara. thank you! you are right, letting go of those trivial things
and focusing on HIS plan! amen.
 
Lindsay



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katie said...

OH my gosh girl- I am speechless. this is one of the most beautiful posts you have EVER written! I love this so so much. gah. you are SO right about carrying each others burdens. I truly believe the Lord wants us to do that to an extent but NOT to take it to the extreme where we are putting our focus off of Him. You and your husband rock. I will SO becoming to you for marriage advice one day! LOVE YOU! 

Erin Shipe said...

Aw, so sweet. No couples are perfect, but you guys are so sweet...I love the deep love and care you have for one another. It's beautiful!

lindsay cotter said...

thank you sweet friend. you words mean so much! how are you?!!
 
Lindsay
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raina_smalltownrunner said...

I am so glad to read this post, Lindsay.
You two are great inspirations to many. I can relate to the worry / stress part and how wonderful it is when we can let HIM carry it for us.
:)

lindsay cotter said...

thank you Raina. You have been a great source of inspiration through your blog
and your marriage. It means a lot for me to hear that you can relate.
Hugs.
 
Lindsay




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Shannon said...

to realize this, is huge.  i am totally the same way (taking on others burdens, when i have enough to carry myself), so it really hits home!

lindsay cotter said...

oh I am so glad we can relate shannon. I hope those burdens are soon
lifted friend.
hugs,
 
Lindsay



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Bre said...

hi friend, I haven't had internet so I've not been bale to post :( I'm sending you a big hug. Life is deifnitely messy, but part of life is learning to let it be messy and be okay with it when things get messy! you and james are awesome and I think this post was wonderful. Miss you friend!

lindsay cotter said...

oh I miss you too! thank you for such amazing words! I know your busy at the
pool so have fun and lets catch up soon.
 
Lindsay




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